The Student News Site of Newton North High School

The Newtonite

The Newtonite

The Newtonite

This Week in Headlines: Election Special

The Newtonite November 6, 2012

by Aneesh Anand and Jacob Schwartz Top Story: Current Class of 2013 president panics after hearing that there is election today Write-in candidates Vladimir Lenin, Mao Zedong currently winning,...

This Week In Headlines: October 26

The Newtonite October 26, 2012

by Jacob Schwartz Top story: Sophomore unsure if it is too early to secure J-prom date Facebook friends experience roller coaster of emotions while reading song-lyric status update Freshman looking...

This Week in Headlines: October 19

The Newtonite October 19, 2012

  by Jacob Schwartz Top story: School implements 3.14-point GPA scale Fire drill scheduled for your next free block Freshmen not falling for class president’s 'five-hour lunch' platform this...

This Week in Headlines: October 12

The Newtonite October 12, 2012

by Jacob Schwartz Top story: Gutsy freshman goes off campus after school Student relies too much on spell czech Effie Trinket sues principal for identity fraud Senior class to build ‘Borrowed...

This Week in Headlines: October 5

The Newtonite October 5, 2012

by Jacob Schwartz 'Hunger Games' reenactment includes catered Mexican food Paper football finally becomes varsity sport Environment club proposes decrease in students Student's wildest dreams come...

Satire: Study shows Honors, Advanced Placement courses determine afterlife options

The Newtonite May 18, 2012

by Jacob Schwartz Time to stock up on some challenging courses for next semester. It just might get you into Heaven. A recent study by the Panicked Parents Association revealed that the number of...

Satire: Latecomers share tips, secrets of arriving to class on time

The Newtonite February 15, 2012

[media-credit name="Rachel Kronberg" align="alignright" width="235"][/media-credit]Ten minutes after A-block began, junior Rosanna Gessel-Larson walked down a deserted hallway on her way to class. by Cyrus...

Satire: Walker’s Education prevents hallway disasters, inconveniences

The Newtonite February 2, 2012

[media-credit name="Izzy Rosenblatt" align="alignnone" width="285"][/media-credit]Students should follow certain rules when walking in the hallways as not to annoy others. by Jacob Schwartz Walking through...

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