by Jacob Schwartz
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Top story: Sophomore unsure if it is too early to secure J-prom date
[media-credit id=26 align=”alignleft” width=”300″] Yesterday X-block, sophomore Ari Seckler tried to figure out whom he should take to the Class of 2015’s Junior Semi-Formal. To be added to Seckler’s list of potential dates, please buy a full-page advertisement in the Newtonite’s print January special. (Make checks out to Jacob Schwartz.) - Facebook friends experience roller coaster of emotions while reading song-lyric status update
- Freshman looking forward to happy ending of ‘Romeo and Juliet’
- Mass interview: Are you going to eat that?
- Lecturers, professional storytellers protest ‘cool story bro, tell it again’ shirts
- Kid trying to pass off something he saw on television last night as his own joke again
- Student fervently pencil-drumming on desk offered record contract
- ‘Forty-seven percent of the sophomore class doesn’t deserve open-campus privileges,’ Student Faculty Administration member says in secret meeting
- Senior vows to boycott cafeteria after horrific milk spill
- Brookline soccer says referees ‘stepped up’ in 3-2 win over Tigers
- Housemaster resigns after hearing students say ‘hashtag’ in real life
- College admissions club sends rejection letters to members to prepare them for senior year
- Editorial: How are we supposed to lie about grades if parents can see them online?
- Heads turn as weekly Newtonite blogger struts through hallway
Aneesh Anand contributed to this article. Amanda Hills told us it was funny.
Read last week’s “This Week in Headlines.”
