by Jacob Schwartz
- Thoughtprints writers totally thought Thoughtprints was cool before everybody else did
- English teacher Lynn Montague’s firm handshake breaks student’s wrist
- Ski team races nude to improve aerodynamics
- Jazz band branches out, plays Metallica song
- All teachers on absent list except yours
- Editorial: Library starting to smell like books
- King Louis XVI club taken over by French Revolution club
- Senior Jacob Schwartz currently late to film class
- Film teacher falls into depression, class begins chick flick unit
- Newtonite blogger unsure if he needs haircut
Email [email protected] to tell Jacob whether he needs a haircut.
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