This Week In Headlines: January 4

The Newtonite

January 4, 2013

[media-credit name=”Julia Moss” align=”alignnone” width=”560″] Since the dawn of time, man has craved knowledge on the happenings of his community. These headlines, albeit satirical and ridiculous, provide a portal into the daily life at this school and will be posted every Friday as a blog.

by Aneesh Anand and Jacob Schwartz

Work ethic of Class of 2013 graduates
0-35 sports team bonds as group, learns valuable skills
Student decides not to skip Ethics
Boys’ basketball blames 61-3 loss on missing 6th Man shirts
Junior Thesis note card system extremely helpful, according to nobody
Student arrested on charges of possession of Tylenol chewable tablets
Bankrupt exchange program sends students to South
From essay to speech to mime: The Martin Luther King Jr. Contest
Oceanography class excited to begin unit on Beach Boys
Column: Can we muster again?
Debate team dissolves after members unable to agree on meeting time
Student relives New Years Eve by counting down last 10 seconds of Friday F–block
Advanced senior citizens in computer class already cyberbullying grandchildren
Joe Kennedy campaign volunteers not sure what to do with themselves anymore
Yearbook awards weekly headline bloggers as sexiest men alive

Click here to read last week’s This Week in Headlines.

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